As a child, my summer vacations were spent visiting a grandfather who lived alone on his peaceful estate on the water. My mom didn’t look forward to it one bit ‑ she worried about his lack of cleanliness, his independence, his profanity, even his snoring. She always spent the first day scrubbing the shower stall we would use.
It was the only situation where I could see a dramatic contrast to her worrying. “Pop” worried about nothing (as far as I could see). He had a big bag of Oreos ready for me when we got there. "What the hell?" he’d say when I raided his pantry. He was confident, involved in his work and his hobbies, and he endured no foolishness. He liked good whiskey, good food, mouthy women. He felt like a big, craggy boulder, rooted firmly in the middle of the river of my parents’ young adult worries. I spent most of the time in his very messy wood shop, being taught how to carve on a lathe.
What a host of feelings rise up in me as I write on this topic: worry was so pervasive in my mom that she considered it a moral imperative. My dad reacted by dreaming of ideal vocations, ideal getaways, and (I later learned) ideal women. It took me years to get free of the two extremes; I did crazy things trying to blast free from the twin devils of worry and fantasizing I had inherited.
Finding the right balance of sensible caution and spontaneity is difficult for most of us; how can I hope to say anything useful when half the self‑help books are already about worry?
I’m helpless. I can’t see you but I desire faith, not fear, for us both. I pray we both take a step back, don’t jump to conclusions and yet don’t withdraw into some little cave in our hearts. I hope we can remember that we don’t really need everyone to like us or be like us. I believe we can live with imperfection within and without, can be grateful, and can relax.
This entire website is, you have guessed by now, the best gift I've been able to craft for all the seekers who may find their ways here.
Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink or what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Jesus, Matthew 6,‑25, 27, 34
