My wife and I were having dinner with another couple, friends for twenty years, evangelical Christians (as we were once) and the conversation on our side of the table took a direction toward spiritual life. I shared how badly I had handled a certain situation. Jack wanted to encourage me I think, and credited "sin” with the origin of my stumbling, and we were off and running on one of our favorite debates.
His model categorizes disappointing behaviors as "sins" that are then "confessed" in prayer. Then, forgiveness is "trusted". That’s the extent of his action, it seems; he hopes to see behavioral change, but doesn’t have tools for managing afflictive emotions or their resultant behaviors. He seems interested to hear that such tools exist. Overall, though, he seems a little overwhelmed by "Sin": it seems so deeply entrenched that only a miracle could change him. "Positionally" (a theological term that seems to mean something like "theoretically" or "potentially"), that miracle has already occurred, but practically, not much change can really be confirmed.
Several years ago, I grew dissatisfied by this model, and left evangelicalism because inner change had become the central point to my "religion", replacing theology and ritual. Doctrine no longer held compelling attraction. I began to search for a “technology of faith” (as I called it), that would actually change the way I felt and behaved; changing mere thoughts didn't seem to have the impact I desired.
I’m not going to bore you with a verbatim of our debate, but it is important for us to know what to do with our darknesses. If you have inherited a psychological model that owes something to the Judeo‑Christian heritage – and most of us inhaled it during our early childhood – then you probably work within a shame and/or guilt framework. It probably rankles around in the pre‑conscious, too, so it’s not always easily accessed. (In fact, lots of us often feel it’s Only Human. It’s actually mostly cultural, but that’s a different website.)
What do I do with my mean streak? What makes me complain? Do I gossip? Would I be jealous if my friend won the lottery or fell in love? If my partner is grouchy, do I listen (hear deeply) or do I look for a way to change the subject? Do I have a can-opener for my mind that let's me watch and replay any of these "movies"?
Then, if I notice this stuff, how do I understand its power? Do I have a way to knock its feet out from under it? Do I choose to stay in the dark? Am I actively experimenting with tools to unhinge these useless ways of reacting to the world around me?
Did you forget that man prefers peace, and even death, to freedom of choice in the knowledge of good and evil?
Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Brothers Karamazov
Light has come into the world, but men loved the darkness rather than the Light,
for their deeds were evil.
Jesus (John 3:13)
