I got fired once from a good‑paying job, with a family to support and a short commute and great health insurance. One of the reasons stated was that I was not proofreading my output. And me, an exEnglish teacher. Go figure! Why couldn’t I discipline myself and proof better? Why couldn’t I stop spacing out? I was guilty, ashamed, and defensive for months.
Now, years later, it’s easy to see the lesson: another path was calling me. I needed to wake up to the fact that I was “selling out”, that I had become cynical about work (“just take the money and run”). True, I did have a family to support, but that did not necessitate my cowardice and unconsciousness. At the time, “spacing out” didn’t seem a choice; I was burned out, not owning up to a new direction required of me, not listening to my “inner voice.” The warning light had been flashing for months, but I thought I was being a grown‑up, sucking it up in a dead‑end job so the pension could pile up.
It was a kind of choice, all right; it just wasn’t a "conscious" one!
At its best, “spacing out” may sometimes be a little like what Zen Buddhists call no-mind, and can balance the task-wiredness that occupies us most of our time. At its best, spacing out is time for the “battery to recharge;” it lets the computer Empty the Trash.
But when it's compulsive, spacing out on the freeway or at my desk can be disastrous. It’s really crucial to take time for spacing out before I’m overwhelmed. And if I can’t even choose, I’m already overwhelmed, and in harm’s way.
Something’s got to give.
I have come to see silence
as the mother of truth.
Thomas Merton
As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen.
Eckhart Tolle