Echoes
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
“To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self‑interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. Never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.
“When I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person, a better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in yourself to forgive then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too.
“Take the Craddock Four for example. The police ambushed their car, killed them in the most gruesome manner, set their car ablaze. When, at a Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearing, the teenage daughter of one of the victims was asked, ‘Would you be able to forgive the people who did this to you and your family?’ She answered, ‘We would like to forgive, but we would just like to know who to forgive.’
“How fantastic to see this young girl, still human despite all efforts to dehumanize her.”
Forgiveness occurs when my need for vengeance is relinquished toward God, the universe, Spirit, whatever term you use for a higher power. When every ounce of me cries out for restitution, but I see that I will never be able to personally even the score ‑ but also see that justice cannot, must not be dismissed, then I am almost forced to forgive. As the Archbishop implies, it’s the only way you can stay human, the only way to prevent Wrong from winning.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu